Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Gracious Society?

Please, I truly think Singapore is made up of disgusting pigs, self-important ignorants, and retards. The fact that some Singaporeans can blatantly do this in public and still think that it's their right to do so... despite getting some awkward stares.

... makes me wonder if it's a habit or an addiction for some of you.


I had the misfortune to sit right next to one such nugget-digging individual on my way to work. For the entire 45-minute ferry ride, he was enthusiastically trying to excavate that sort-after prized nose gold. Seriously, isn't such self-indulgence to be enjoyed in your own private time? What's most disgusting is what one does when they retrieve the prize. No one stores it for later use... they simply flick it off or secretly spread it onto the nearby wall.


SingaBore is a fucking disgusting country... next to China, that is.

Speaking of over-population...



Sunday, March 29, 2009

Some pix from Cafe Del Mar's "I Love Beach Parties"








Photo snaps courtesy of Darren Pang and Steven Trust

For the shiny happy people and friends that came to bake with us in the sun over some blistering hot tunes, thank you very much. And for the joker that came and asked if he could "get a copy of the LIVE set recording", get with the times. Podcast. Can?

Stay tune for details as we head back to the club circuit in April.

Also, Majestic Bar's launch of it's Exquisite Saturdays dinner took off to overwhelming start. $30 for a delicious 4-course degustation menu. For those looking for a truly unique experience in their starry (and trippy) Sky Room, check out details here.

Wu Who?

Just how insignificant can Singapore get? Plastered on the front page of the main papers today, taking up almost half a page, announcing the arrival of yet another foreign mercenary "sportsman", this time it's some world champion pool player from Taiwan...


Wu Chia-Ching

Like seriously? Why is the country spending so much to "buy" these foreign sport personalities? Is sports achievement THAT frakkin' important? How does it help ECONOMICALLY? Does it, in any bloody way, make the citizens' life much better? I'm sure the allocated budget would be more meaningful if used to tide the lower-income through these difficult times.

OK, right... he's a world class champion. Taiwan was desperate to keep him. OK, fine... we won in enticing him over. So what? Really... SO FRAKKIN' WHAT? Haven't we already have enough foreign invaders in our country? Instead of spending so much money to obtain his services, why not use the money to develop some local "ah beng" from the local pool parlour? And so what if we win the world championship for pool? The point being? National pride? Oh, pleeeassee! He ain't Singaporean to begin with.



I really don't get it. Is it really that news-worthy that it warrants a front page blast? I think it really explains the sort of mentality that the general Singaporean has. i.e. self-importance despite all degrees of insignificance. It's come to a point that some PRC folks (China) are commenting that Singaporeans are so hopeless that EVERYTHING that we need to hired them to play ping-pong and also to come do our daily jobs.

Honestly, if I ran the show, I'd rather acquire the man who can shoot flames out of his penis...


"You light up my life..."

... I know for sure that if he was to perform a nightly show at the Singapore Indoor Stadium, every man / woman / gays / lesbians / anyone above 18-years-old, will be queuing up to see this amazingly HOT feat. At least we'll have ticket taking$ instead of some pointless Olympic silver medal which is probably tucked away in some drawer at the Sports Council.

Hell, while I'm at it, I might as well offer a Singapore citizenship and a part of our beach to Zhang Ziyi as well. Then she can become the country's newest tourist (and local) attraction... then everyone will have a reason to go suntanning, even though some are already DARK enough (geddit?).



I'm not being sarcastic. I'm pointing out the stupidity and frakkin' pointless policies that runs within the country. I think some of us can come up with better ideas where to spend the money... and to make more money in return.

p/s did you do your part for Earth Hour last night? I didn't. At exactly 8.30pm, I left my water heater on, used the hair dryer while the stereo was playing in the background. When I left for work, I conveniently left the ceiling fan, computer and air-conditioning on. So sue me... like I really care!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Like you REALLY care?

I just wish they wouldn't make such a big bloody deal out of it with useless promotional events like "Earth Hour"? Seriously, this is the worst kind of 'humanitarianism'. It's only function is to give a false sense of achievement to people that otherwise don't really give a FRAK about the planet. I sincerely hope nobody's naive enough to realize that this will ACTUALLY make a difference. One stupidhour? In the whole of human history that has gone on with electricity? The whole concept of Earth Hour is a joke, let's get that straight. It's like a fat-fuck going on a liquid diet for twenty minutes... it's not going to matter nor going to make much of a difference.

There's nothing wrong in telling people to save electricity and doing it ourselves, and that's what it really is about, isn't it? The platform the campaign should promote is : Turn off a light, save some frakkin' money!

I think that would go over better than all the feel-good hippie crap.

I'm not bothered to participate. Not because I'm a selfish person who doesn't care about the environment. I don't disagree with the idea of saving energy, but it seems to me that Earth Hour is just a cheap gimmick which people can get involved in, when the reality is that any benefits to the environment from doing so are negligible. It has the possibility to get people to switch off their lights and kid themselves that they're doing the right thing, but they're turning a blind eye to the bigger global warming issues like industrial and vehicle pollution.



I don't want to live like a caveman when I have the choice. I need to be able to use my computer at night, to watch TV till I doze off, to charge all my mobile appliciances, to call my friends and etc. I don't that anyone should dictate how we should all live in any particular way. What happened to freedom of choice? These so-called environmental hippies need to be able to respect other people's way of life.

Hey, what happens when millions of people flick on millions of lights all at the same time when the hour is up? Kind of cancels itself out.

If you're gullible enough to be a part of this ridiculous campaign, please by all means, turn off your lights later today... and unplug your fridge while you're at it. And if you think you're doing the world a huge deed by using energy efficient bulb; think again! They are full of mercury gas, and if dropped and broken, you have a toxic dump for a home. They also are said to possibly trigger migraines and seizures. So technically, when the bulb dies, you're still killing the earth by contributing to the mercury level in our land. Bet you didn't know that, did you? You ignorant moron!

I'll balance things off by having TWO computers going, the TV on random channel, the stereo playing while I'm plugged into my iPod, my ceiling fan, lights and lamps, my turntable, my portable DVD player... that should consume just about enough power that my stupid neighbours might be trying to save in that ONE hour.

Earth Hour... verdict?


Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's good to know...



You know what brings great joy to a DJ? It's not the drinks that people offer you or the amount of people that treat you like a frakkin' jukebox. It's the fact that every now and then, you're reminded that you're reaching out to beyond the circle of people you know and you're being appreciated for the work that you've been putting out.

A couple months back, Progressions was in Hanoi for one night. For me, it wasn't just about playing a gig there. It was about bridging cultures and languages through the power of music. Yesterday, I receive this on my Facebook wall...

"Yukun! mate! thanks for the add man! you music is quality - gives me GOOSE BUMPS! for real! absolutely love it!" - Tommy Mỳ Tôm Tran

Cảm ơn, Tommy. That really makes my day to know that many oceans away, there are people digging into what I do as a DJ. It certainly makes up for the times I get so bloody irritated by song requests at gigs here in Singapore.

We certainly hope to return to Vietnam eventually... :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lets go back to the beach...

[CLICK TO ENLARGE]

And in view of Earth Hour this Saturday, I'll stop the music for one hour to enjoy a whole frakkin' hour of complete silence. How about that? You know what? I think this Earth Hour thing is a whole lot of hypocrisy. So do they mean for 364 days a year, we don't give a flying frak... but just for one special day, we try to conserve energy for one miserable hour? Frak that shit. Personally, I think all that Christmas / Chinatown / Little India / Geylang seasonal light-up is a complete waste of energy. Really want to save electricity and at the same time help the common folks in these dire times? Shut down all of the ERP gantries for one hour per day.



Monday, March 23, 2009

Before it becomes overplayed...


... allow both P@t and myself to make it stale first, can?
We'll drop it every hour on the hour this Saturday at Cafe Del Mar.
Hahaha!

Man, it would really be strange (or nice) to see people don in a tee-shirts that says "P@t & Yukun". Preferably girls. Haha! Yeah, that'll be the day... I strike the lottery first prize. :p

Stay tune for details as we'll be heading back to the club environment in April. Wahoo!

Updates

Details on FACEBOOK.

P@t and myself will be playing from 2pm - 7pm this Saturday at Cafe Del Mar. As usual, expect music that's peppered with Balearic Trance, Progressive and everything inbetween. If you're planning to catch some sun... we hope to see ya there!


Details on FACEBOOK.

Starting this coming Saturday, over at Majestic Bar, they're starting a Japanese fusion cuisine in their swanky Sky Room, alongside drink promotions and etc. For those looking for a unique dining experience away from the norm... look no further.

And starting next month... first time ever... a "diet" trance show goes on free-to-air Lush 99.5 FM... Progressions : The Early Hours. Details on FACEBOOK. Who would have thought possible? For the brand as well as for the music genre? On radio. Ha!

Oei... last time ah beng channel not counted, ok? Haha!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I want to be Dutch!


I would kill to be born Dutch. Bloody hell, TyDi and John O'Callaghan! And what do we have here in boring Singapore? Those stupid not-very-trendy glow-in-the-dark Nu Rave crap and pretentious minimal crap (that's damn easy to produce). Fuck! No wonder the scene's become a stagnant puss. There's too much false pretension and reasons to go clubbing nowadays is all wrong.

Bring back underground clubs like Barbarblackchic and etc. That's what is needed.

Dey!!!


"Allooooo? Nothing... nothing is coming in!"

For some strange unknown reason, I decided to go for a jog in the early evening. Don't ask, I really don't know why. Anyway, I ended up at the neighbourhood Video EZY outlet. To cut the long story short, there was this Indian man (Bangladeshi to be exact) in the shop and he was talking frakkin' loud over his cellphone. No matter how loud the shop attendant cranked up the TV volume, this chap will just go above it all. To be honest, it was downright irritating... the language... the tone... the smell. Sorry, I'm being honest here. Don't like it, don't read anymore.

Anyway, once he got off the phone, I just had to ask...

"Dey, why you talk so loud on the phone?"
"My friend, in Bangladesh. Very far, cannot hear!"

Frakkin' moron! Aren't we all lucky your bloody friend does not stay on another solar system?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Please steer clear!



And why do must DJs (particularly ME) hate people to request for songs?

Because what he probably thinks you're an idiot and that what you're asking for is something the DJ doesn't like at all!

NOTE : It's has been a really bad day so far... and trust me when I say, I'm not in a cherry mood! Stay clear.

Champions League draw is out!



Tuesday, April 7
Villarreal vs Arsenal
Manchester United vs FC Porto

Wednesday, April 8
Liverpool vs Chelsea (ha ha!)
Barcelona vs Bayern Munich

Tuesday, April 14
Chelsea vs Liverpool
Bayern Munich vs Barcelona

Wednesday, April 15
Arsenal vs Villarreal
FC Porto vs Manchester United

Frog-asutra...

If this makes you horny, you really need psychiatric help...


Cunningulus... also known as toad licking.


The good old 69.
Not recommended for those that don't like the asshole staring at you.


The basic Missionary
Legs-in-the-air optional.


Doggie style... woof!


The Reverse Cowboy.
Also known as the backbreaker... hahaha!


Hahaha! Shack out!

Horny yet?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Emo (retro) weekend... hahahaha!

"And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me..."
- Dido

I've been digging up a lot of old stuff to listen lately. Mainly because the current stuff out lacks character and are mostly disposable. I'm not even bothered to go through the Trance promos. I'll probably get bored by the third package.



And I'll probably go rent the entire Roswell this weekend to watch since there isn't really much to do anyway. Yeah, I'm THAT bored and utterly uninspired to do anything much.

In the meantime, remember to switch off you lights next Saturday...



... mine will be off coz I'm be at work :p

In the meantime, I'm giving a thumbs up to...



Just this evening, I wacked one Apple and one Mango strudel. Yummy!

We know where... but when?


:p

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Updates

Due to some technical glitch, our gracious podcast host managed to frak things up real nice by losing a huge chuck of data and as a result, we have lost all the previous shows, which is really annoying and sad at the same time.

Just because it was stable previously... doesn't mean shit won't happen. Anyway, life goes on and we'll be back with more new shows in the coming weeks, so for those that are subscribed or have book-marked us... thank you for the interest and for enjoying the past efforts that our DJs have painstakingly made. We've no intention to re-upload the older shows as that would be a damn tedious procedure. For those that have downloaded those shows, you're now holding on to a commodity of sorts :)

First up is this...



...which is now ONLINE at my podcast site. It's best I let the music do the talking. This tribute was done as an effort to bring those in bereavement a sense of comfort and solace, as well as celebrating the beauty of life despite all the downfalls, trials and tribulations.

YUKUN PODCAST | PROGRESSIONS PODCAST | ALTER-EGO PODCAST

********************

Upcoming events :

I LOVE BEACH PARTIES @ CAFE DEL MAR
(2 - 7pm, 28th Mar)
(NEW) EXQUISITE SATURDAYS @ MAJESTIC BAR

Why is it that Singaporeans always give themselves...



It's the school holidays. Hu-frakkin'-ray. And thus explains the influx of noobs and kids on the casino ship. Why kids? Because their parents only care for themselves... they want to try their luck at the tables and they can't be bothered to bring their kids for a decent holiday. What do the kids do onboard a casino ship that has no activities catered for them? Run amok in the restaurant and create a ruckus at the open deck. Tomorrow, I'm organizing a "throw-as-many-kids-off-the-deck" contest. We're going into shark-invested waters tomorrow so I leave the rest up to your imagination.

Anyway, why do I say Singaporeans are always slapping themselves in the face? Well, the casino is out of bound to anyone below the age of 21. Apparently, international law states casinos are allowed only to wipe the bank dry of anyone from 21 years old and above. Today. we had a mother, happily walking the kids through the casino.

"Mommy, what is this place?"
"Kids, this place is an evil place. People that come here are no good."

When reprimanded by security why she brought her kids INTO the casino for a little excursion, she claims she did not see the HUGE neon sign at the entrance that states NO ADMITTANCE to anyone below the age of 21... in FOUR FRAKKIN' LANGUAGES!Justify Full
Ignorance is bliss? More like you're a bloody moronic woman with no common sense.

The ultimate self-induced slap was...

"Kids, you all go to the open deck to play, ok? Mommy wants to go back in and gamble."

Just a couple minutes ago, what did she say the casino was? Well, I guess mommy's not a "good person" either.

And then we have noobs that go to the Blackjack table and then upon drawing DOUBLE ACES, demand to be paid THREE TIMES the amount. Helloooo... international Casino here, not Singapore Blackjack, ok? Learn the REAL rules of the game first before saying stupid ass things like "but when I play with my friends, we pay THREE times!"

Most Singaporeans don't think before they speak and I think that's why Singapore ranks pretty high on the "stupid-as-frak" chart on the international scale.

I'm bored...


... and uninspired!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The secret to free money

I know it's the recession and finance is tight for some of you. I'm going to reveal one way of making without a single cent of investment. Just a little effort. And trust me, the money's there staring at your face... just that you never realized it... until now.

You know all those irrelevant junk mail you get everyday? And all those flyers that are stuck onto your house gate? Lets not forget those that are distributed on the streets, shopping malls and etc. Heck, even brochures that most of us have no interest in. Oh, lets not forget the free TODAY'S paper.



Well, just don't toss them into the bin just yet. I've often wondered how lucrative a "kanang guni" is, so I began collecting all these junk from my mailbox and etc since early January. And until last weekend, I've amassed a huge trash bag (about 4kg) of it and I started to insert them inbetween about one month's worth of old newspapers. Sell the whole lot off for a tidy sum of $16.

Ta-da... free money with little effort and zero investment. You get the idea, right? Instead of fretting over the amount of crap you get each day in your mail, why not turn it into money?

OK, I'm bored and I've nothing to bitch about.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Are you ready for some turtle love?


OMFG!
This is hilarious and at the same time very disturbing!
Check out the turtle dicky!
Cowabunga!!!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Liar, liar... pants on fire!

How do you tell someone is a lousy liar as well as a FRAKKIN' moron? Here's one of them...

Last night at Majestic Bar, which I hold Saturday residency (cheap self-promo), this not-so-young man came up to me and introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Sam. You the DJ here?"
"Yes."
"Oh, nice. I'm a regular here, I come here almost every weekend."

At this point, any idiot would know that he's a terrible liar.

"I'm here with some friends from Philippines. Oh, one of them used to be a DJ also."

I know because they're yapping away like a FRAKKIN' fish market! And regarding your friend being a DJ also... the operative word here being USED TO BE. Later on in the night, he comes up to me again and ask why the music is still so soft and that there ain't any "flashing lights" in the club.

"Sam, this is a bar, not a club."
"But I thought last time have?"
"It's been like that since DAY ONE."

Ignoring the fact that he claims to come here every other weekend. He seems to have a knack of slapping himself across the face whenever he opens his mouth.

"I'm not a bar person. I'm more a club person."
"Oh, so which club do you go?"
"Lunar and Dragonfly."

Yo ah yo... those ain't clubs, you FRAKKIN' idiot. Those are DISCOS. Hahahaha!



Moral of the incident?

Don't act smart when you're really a retard.

Gloat for what? You ain't got any silverware yet!



Goddamn legend killers. No matter. The EPL season is not over yet. Notably, the bookies made a ton of money on this particular match.

What is FRAK? Read here.


It's possibly the only (and best) TV series that manages to get away with profanity without the censors even taking notice of it. I'm looking forward to the absolute last FRAKKIN' finale next week. Not on telly though. Free-to-air and cable is redundant in the internet age. Especially so in this overly-sanitized booger island.

p/s I still Gossip Girl is really a sad excuse and a complete waste of time and resources. Then again, half the population have fluff for brains and will lap this lame-ass crap anytime of the day. Sex In The City, it ain't for sure.

Favourite frakkin' tune of the moment?


I think it's either the age thing or the fact that I've been doing this for too long. I don't have the patience for euphoric, banging and full-on trance anymore. I much prefer to go below the surface of the genre and enjoy the lesser known and more meaningful stuff. Fact is that for many years already, I'm not bothered with what international DJs are coming and etc. Personally I think there's more to club music besides the usual "superstar DJs", trendy for-the-moment genres, overplayed tunes, internet radio shows and overhyped products. I've reached a point whereby I'd rather go and discover my own music instead of taking the easy way out of shadowing the playlist(s) of big name(s). Too bad if the audience don't get it. Music's meant to be personal anyway. And if I can't play what I truly feel for, then FRAK it... I'd rather be REAL than to suck up to public demand.

Oh, by the way... for the very first time next month on Lush 99.5 FM... Progressions : The Early Hours Mix. Stay tune for updates :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I'm not negative...



As analysts and psychologists have pointed out, optimism and positive thinking is often categorized as unrealistic, short-sightedness and having false hope. Why so? If one expects everything in life to be blue-skies and everything nice JUST because you think as such 24/7, then you'll be gravely disappointed at all the curve balls life will be throwing at you.

Financial advisors practice the art of optimistic projection. ANTICIPATING the worst outcome so as to put measures in place (i.e. fund hedging and etc), in the event the masterplan does not work out. The same works for buying life insurance. Of course you don't wish to cash in on your own policy but you buy one anyway, JUST IN CASE.

I've seen many go bust in the casino just because they keep telling themselves, "next hand sure win". They're blinding themselves with false hope and they're ignoring the fact that they're have a spell of bad luck, which the casino will capitalize if you don't know how to admit defeat.

Many have accused me as for being a negative person. I stand corrected. There's a difference between a negative individual and me. I antipate the things that might go wrong so that I'm better prepared to face them should they come. And I won't be so disappointed should things don't go as planned. Go read the Ancient Chinese Art Of War.

A fine example of ignorant positive thinking... my mother. She places glassware on top of the microwave often to dry them with the emitting heat. Today, a glass jar she was trying to dry rolled off it and smash right into my foot.

"It has never happened before!" she exclaims as I stood bleeding.

Never happened doesn't mean it won't happen. For her short-sightedness, I now have cuts on my foot. If she had thought of the possible negative outcome that might prevail, she won't have such a silly habit.

9/11 never happened before. But eventually it did. No black African-American has been US President. Obama's there now. No terrorists have escaped from our custody. Mas Selamat's laughing at that complacent thought now. You get the drift.

Edison Chen won't die. Want to wager on that?

Citibank... ha!

The New F***ing Citibank

Thursday, March 12, 2009

SingaBore Ugly

Why am I so cynical about Singapore and it's people despite holding a pink identity card myself? It's because the typical lowly-educated selfish HDB heartlanders make it such an ugly country. Seriously, some of damn really deserve to be put in their bloody place!



I was at Bedok central to have my dinner after work. I standing by a stall deciding what to order when this woman, out of my line of sight shouted "SQ me, leh!"

As it was crowded and I don't know which side she was overtaking from, I just took a quick step left. Unfortunately, left of me was where she was intending to pass and I stepped on my toes. MOMENTARILY. What followed was deserving of an Oscar. Really!

"Aiyoh!!! My leg, ah!"

Stupid woman don't even know her anatomy properly. That's your FOOT, not your LEG.

Anyway, I apologized but she went on rubbing her FOOT and saying that there was an acute pain and that she better go to the doctor to see if anything is broken. Bitch, this isn't your lucky day because you just happen to cross path with perhaps one of the most sarcastic persona in Singapore blogsphere.

"Aunty, I only 55kg. My one FOOT step on you, that's about 27.5kg. The pressure was barely 2 seconds so that's an approximate 500 gram weight on your toes. Don't act so drama, ok?"

"HUH? I not Aunty, lah! What you talking"

(note that she's not really English speaking but I chose to converse in that language)

"Is it? I can't tell. You look old enough to be one. Anyway, if you want me to pay for your doctor fee, ask your lawyer to contact my lawyer first. If not, please fuck off!"

"You very rude leh. Step on people still use bad word!"

"Don't be a drama queen. You're not in TCS. Go away before I really step on your foot."



Of course, being a typical Singaporean that must have the last say, she went on and on and on about the "injustice" she's facing and etc. I couldn't be arsed because I had a good day at work and I'm not letting anything spoil the rest of my day. But really, some of you Singaporeans really don't know when to shut up. And don't get me started with those "ah sohs" that reserve seats for their friends at the casino table with tissue paper packs. We're not operating a hawker centre, ok? Stop asking me why cannot.