Thursday, April 30, 2009

Pubic in public (the private hair issue)

The following photo is rather queasy. If you have a weak stomach, I suggest you stop reading. Otherwise, cringe with me as we debate further into the redundancy of pubic hair.

I'm beginning to hate male public urinals because 8 out 10 are always decorated with pubic hair. I don't know about the female toilets and whether they suffer the same undesirable dilemma. I hope they do too, otherwise, this is a shameful spotlight on men lacking in presentation.



What i don't understand is why all the loose ends? Is it because some people have too much salt in their diets? Is it because there's so much hair there that there's no longer anymore vacancy and the older ones need to be evicted? Or do some of you do some pubic hair grooming while you pee? Seriously, what the FRAK? It's bloody gross, ok?

Really, what's the point of having pubic hair?

If you Google on why we have hair "down there", the most common answer is, it's signal the coming of adulthood.

Fair enough. But I think facial hair (for men) and a pair of boobs (for women) are sufficient signals.

Others explain it as a billboard that nature places on our bodies that signals "hey! look over here!" to others with whom we're intimate with.

Erm... I think a woman with "shaved beaver" would be more of a turn-on. I mean, I would stare at a bush, and I'd be thinking, "we need a lawn mower!"

Clinically, it's proclaimed that all our hair (no matter where) helps to protect certain parts of our body, regulate body temperature, and/or catch our natural "scent" (called pheromones) that is produced in our sweat to attract others.

Excuse me, not that we walk around naked but do we really need pubic hair to regulate the temperature there? Do we really need to keep things warm and stuffy down south? And what scent can it possibly emit? The Hokkien curse of "chow chee bye" didn't just derived from nowhere. To be fair, women have been known to describe dicks as "cheesy smelling" . So guys, don't think your package smells like a rose garden, especially if it's sprouting overgrown hair.

The question remains, is pubic hair really necessary?

I don't know about the rest of you but personally, I think pubic hair is more a repellent than anything else. It serves no decorative nor attractive purpose and it's a perfect humid breeding ground for pubic lice (crabs), which are these frakkin' monstrous looking critters...



And the only effective treatment and prevention known to mankind since the ancient times, beside pouring kerosene and setting your private area on fire, is this :



By the way, the same applies to armpit here too.
Completely pointless.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Social problem...

OK, I don't know how many of you feel the same way but, personally when I take a pee in a public toilet, I get FRAKKIN' disgusted to see strains of pubic hair in and on the standing urinals. Not that I purposely take note of such things but how can you ignore them when they're so thick and long... and happily drowning in your pee? GROSS!



Seriously, you all do know that pubic hair is redundant. There's absolutely no use at all. It doesn't make a man / woman any sexier or more attractive (unless you're a sick twisted Japanese). And since it serves very little purpose, what do we normally do with unwanted bodily hair? Can't some people do the same with their bloody overgrown pubic hair? Waiting for what? To harvest pubic lice and crabs?

As those that have served the army before... they know how much trouble pubic hair will get them into if the platoon sergeant finds "cock hair" on your bar soup.

Seriously, I'm not saying go for a Brazilian or give yourself a Sinead O'Connor, but at least have some FRAKKIN' pride in presentation and TRIM your hedges!!! Especially in the current hot and humid spell, don't you find that having an afro below is kind of suffocating your testicles? All that unnecessary growth is only going to encourage some rash infection... more ever, it really gets in the way when you're expecting to get some head.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Updates

What a month April has been. We saw the debut of Progressions guest mix series being aired on Lush 99.5 FM, the boys played a really memorable Dazed Out... and what a galore of mix sets the month has brought forth!


DOWNLOAD HERE


DOWNLOAD HERE


DOWNLOAD HERE


DOWNLOAD HERE


DOWNLOAD HERE


DOWNLOAD HERE


YUKUN PODCAST | PROGRESSIONS PODCAST | ALTER-EGO PODCAST
PROGRESSIONS FACEBOOK GROUP | DAZED OUT FACEBOOK GROUP

Monday, April 27, 2009

The weather's frakked!



Sunday, April 26, 2009

Email of the month!

From: "DJ Lionel" [email withheld]
To: "Progressions"

Hi there,
Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm currently a DJ with a trance group that is no longer as active as before. I'd very like to join your team. I've been DJing about two years now and I believe I can bring a lot of valuable input to your brand as well as sharing my experiences with your DJs. Please feel free to contact me to explore further.


This is what we replied...



... TWO years means NOTHING in terms of "experience".

Now piss off!

wahahahaha...


Another reason not to play Tiesto!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The postman made my day...


All your stupid ASOT, TATW and etc commercialized internet shows can go swim in dog piss. The masters of electronic music cometh in their grandest style ever! 'Nuff said. They win hands down without even trying!

The stars are not aligned again?



Don't know why.
Woke up feeling out-of-sync.
If I knew why, I wouldn't be in such a bad mood, would I?

Friday, April 24, 2009

S (Stupid) Factor.


OK, seriously? Hello!!! Face of what cover? Cover your face (and body) with fast-dying cement more likely.

I've not bothered to even try catching ONE episode of it despite all the hilarious digs that have been circulating. With the internet, who the hell needs free-to-air or cable TV? Pffftt! Or waste one hour a week of your life watching something as brainless as this stupid show? The Creative Director of the show ought to be given the capital punishment!



p/s Ah Lian, ah... your eyes don't give electricity. You look more like anorexic psychopath who'll probably kill your victims with your atrocious level of English.

On the topic of crap and stupid... I overheard this conversation from one Ah Beng to another on my way to work today.

Cheena Beng : "Oui, you listen what ah?" (pointing at handphone)
Chow Ah Beng : "Titoe, lor..."
Cheena Beng : "Huh? Who ah?"
Chow Ah Beng : "Titoe you don't who meh?"
Cheena Beng : "Oh, that day at Kabuki nightclub they play one ah?"
Chow Ah Beng : "Har nah!"


Finally! Tiesto getting the proper place, time and target audience he truly deserves!

Titoe... wahahahahahaha! You should here how that Ah Beng pronounces Armin...

"Ah Meng Van Boo Lan"

So now we know what "other" kind of audience appreciates these commercial big names, eh?

Life has meaning again because...


FRAKKIN' YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Are you going? Too much money is it?

Gilles Peterson's Worldwide Festival?



... zzzzz

Dazed Out...

These pictures say a thousands and more!












More photos up the Dazed Out Facebook Group.

Tell me why?

Why are we doing stuff with the following? Some cocksters have been asking (or rather, complaining)...

eM Studio
I've worked with them on a full-time basis for almost a year in the past. It's natural that I've bonded with some of the team players there. Every now and then, when we bring back Dazed Out, there's a sense of homecoming and a sentimental attachment to the venue. Sure, people can complain about whatever. But the fact remains, it's still one of the current best venues to host a close-knit Trance party and the history of Dazed Out has proven time and time again. And we'll be doing more in the upcoming months. You can bet on that!

Cafe Del Mar
Is it really OUT-OF-THE-WAY? It's not as if you need to take a bloody flight to get there. This is Singabore. It's not exactly the biggest island in the world, is it? We've been doing stuff there for several reasons. Firstly, to bring a new flavour away from the club environment. Secondly, we believe in supporting the people (in this case, the person) that are willing to give us the opportunity. For those that have been willing to give our parties at Cafe Del Mar a chance, we know who you are and we've very grateful for putting in the extra effort in giving us their support.

Majestic Bar
It's the perfect place for us to do something outside of what we normally do on a weekly basis. The staff and management there really know how to make us (and the clientele) feel at home. Sure it ain't a club and we don't really play Trance there but that's beside the point. How often can you find a watering hole that offers a unique ambience, great service, good drinks and a personal touch? Here's one.


So why did I use so much vulgarity towards the close of the last Dazed Out? Besides thanking everyone for coming, I was also taking a piss at the "super / mega clubs" here? For a simple fact, they're just clubs. Nothing more. Our agendas are very different. We want to do parties that we can get on a personal basis with the punters. We want you to feel comfortable, enjoy the loved-up vibe and not wait a century for your drink orders to come. We want you to go home feeling that you've experienced something unique. We want you to come back again whenever we do it all over again. We are ONE.

Nothing's perfect. But being close enough... is good enough for us.

p/s and don't get me started on the music we choose as our weapon of choice.

Say what you want...

... this can't be wrong.

Opinionated? Pffft!

The weekend was great. Our confidence got another nudge upwards, our point got proven right once again and we walked away humming... "told you so". Despite how positively the party always ends up to be, as long as they're people who THINK they know, there'll always be detractors and discouraging comments. It's either some self-proclaimed purist complaining about the way we played the music (not upfront enough and blah blah) or some stupid ass remark about the venue(s) we choose to host our events. What takes the cake is perhaps the pre-event feedback we get about the bar prices of the host venue(s).

Well... I'm not really bothered because we have a combined track record that could slap these people into oblivion.



We do beach party, some complain too hot, location too far and the drinks too expensive. We do in the club, complain drinks too expensive. Here's a suggestion. Open your own club and put your money where your mouth is. Otherwise... take it or leave it. Simple. Don't need to waste time yapping away. If you love Trance for what it is (i.e. the happy vibe), it doesn't matter where it's held. If you truly believe / support in what my team and me stand for, then you wouldn't be pouring cold water.

Too bad if the weekend didn't turn out well for some of you. But don't spoil it for the rest of us... and stop telling us how we should do our job! We can only please the MAJORITY. Sorry if anyone falls into the MINORITY group. Especially when you requested some stupid tune that we might or might not play. If we think the people on the floor may not react to it, we'll not bother playing it even though you heard it on ASOT or whatever. We don't let the minority dictate our direction. So there!

Yoda says, "too fucking bad, it is."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

What the FRAK is a CHEESE PIE?

Some have asked me... after I've explained what "FRAK" is, what's this "CHEESE PIE" that I'm often heard using as of late? Well, for the uninitiated, this is...



... a cheese pie with a flaky crust.

Yummy, eh?

*ROTFL*

It also applies to the stupid asshole that asked me... "Yukun, 3/4 pants can go into the club or not?"

In the bloody frakkin' first place, why the frak you want to wear 3/4? Very hairy legs is it? Secondly, you going to a club or the frakkin' beach? Thirdly, why don't you use your goddamn brain for once?

Singaporeans. Typical. Ignoranus!

To tired to rant...



... and this is as random as I can get!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Please stop asking after this!!!

DJ set times for
DAZED OUT, 18 April 2009

10.30 - 11.30 P@t
11.30 - 12.30 Yukun
12.30 - 02.00 JonG
02.00 - 03.00 P@t
03.00 - 04.00 Yukun

*GO HOME AND WAKE UP WITH A HANGOVER*

All the people... all the stupid people!



One simple club night, so many bloody stupid and redundant questions some of you have. Really, some of which are so profoundly retarded... I really wonder why the hell did you even bother asking? i.e. what time will you be at the club?

DOES IT FRAKKIN' MATTER?

Or... my friend say he might be going but he's not sure yet. How?

ASK YOU FRAKKIN' FRIEND TO FRAK OFF!

Seriously, people... please use your brain for once in your life before you open your stupid mouth. I already have to deal with so many morons at the casino each working day. Last thing I need is to deal with more morons over the weekends.

So for the last FRAKKIN' time, stop asking "got free CD or not?". Don't HAVE. DON'T FRAKKIN' HAVE!!! Times are bad, cut cost, cannot afford to give free. We selling instead. Can?

And also... to (name withheld)... as to whether I'm creaming in anticipation for...



The answer is...



For the track record, although I may peddle Trance,
I DON'T listen to it outside of work.

p/s and don't bother to even request tunes... especially with me. If you know me long enough, you know I'll only show you the middle finger behind your back after you ask. I'm not a jukebox. Period.



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Politics... for the braindead.


Ong Bak's final showdown?

So what do I think of the anti-government (pro-Thaksin) unrest in Thailand? It's basically caused by TWO opposing political figures that have no balls to fight each other one-on-one, and rather use their "supporters" to do all their dirty work. There's no right or wrong in politics. Just a bunch of people with a lot of free time to argue with others. What is politics anyway?

POLY = many
TIC(K)S = see wikipedia
POLY + TIC(K)S = many bloody suckers.


What a typical politician looks like.


Seriously Thailand, for FRAK's sake, I hope it all stops because it's really getting to a point of it being a stupid fiasco. Also not forgetting the fact that I'm due there in about 5 weeks' time and I don't fancy getting caught in between any of all that ironic never-ending stupidity.

Which brings me to this classic from the 80's that sums it all...


When two tribes go to war
A point is all you can score

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Dazed Out this weekend!

18 April 2009, Saturday
10pm - 4am

eM Studio @ Gallery Hotel
1 Nanson Road
For table reservations, please call 68369691

eM Studio's notoriously good Trance brand is back with Yukun, P@T & JonG! Being a part of the Dazed Out community, you are specially invited to join us as they whip up a storm with their concoction of Balearic tunes, trance anthems, all-time classics and the occasional secret gems from their bags.

Doors open from 10pm!
First drink charge applies to those not in guestlist.

VERY Limited guestlist available on a first come first serve basis. EMAIL your FULL NAME and the FULL NAMES of your friends coming with you before the 16 April 2009. Once your request is successful, you'll get a confirmation reply.


Promos:
Housepours jugs 1-4-1 with any mixer @ $40 Nett (10pm-11pm)

All Night :
Carlsberg Bucket of 5 @ $30nett
Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc Bucket of 5 @ $30nett
Smirnoff Orange Twist 1 bottle @ $150, 2 for $280
Smirnoff Bombshell at $8
Glenmorangie 18yrs at $250

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE

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Progression's first guest mix for Lush 99.5 FM which aired 11 April.


A segment of my recent set @ the iconic Cafe Del Mar at Sentosa.