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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Bloody cocksters!!!

Just how cock is Singapore? If you ask me, I'd say VERY!

As you know, it's the anniversary of the most famous toilet break in Singapore's history. All of a sudden, all our immigration checkpoints, coast guards and the rest of the "home team" is putting up yet another extraordinary show of completely and utterly stupid fiasco. For what? All in the guise of added measures to remain vigilant, just in case Mas Selamat decides to return. As if any fugitive in the right mind would bother to come back.

At the Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, extra morons have been mobilized by the Immigration Checkpoint Authourities. Not to ease the long queues and to speed up things... but to cause pointless inconvenience to everyone. As an added "precaution", travelers now not only have to show your boarding pass and passport, you have to show your identity card. Excuse me, but isn't the passport considered a document with photo identification? How does that help with being vigilant? I don't know. You reckon your suspect will brazenly walk through customs. Please, he'll likely to use the toilet again because obviously, security is still lacking in that area.

But nothing is as cock as the return trip... when a 10 year-old BOY was reprimanded by TWO officers for not putting this through the luggage X-ray machine...

"Excuse me, boy....
... please put your packets of Keropok through the X'Ray!"

What the fuck do you expect to find? Mas Selamat hiding in there? It's fucking fish crackers for crying out loud? What could possibly be smuggled in them? Makes you wonder the sort of geniuses that are employed to "protect" the country.

Anyway, I just had to ask to officers... asking if "keropok ikan" is taxable or has suddenly been classified as contraband.

Sergeant Singh (full name withheld) replied, "this day and date, you can never be too sure."

Jesus! See what I mean? Fucking morons seen too many movies or something! Lightning must have also struck the heads of all immigration officers across the island as well. I guess we better be on the look out then. Mas Selamat might just decide to return... disguised as an inconspicuous happy tampon.