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Monday, March 02, 2009

Still not back yet?

It's been ONE year and Mas Selamat is still not back from his toilet break. For that episode, some heads rolled. One stayed despite calls from critics for him to step down. Time and money has been spent in the manhunt and till today, the supposed leader of the Jemaah Islamiyah network is still at large... probably laughing his arse off. That is, if he really exist.

"I THINK we have a good chance to catching him PROVIDED he's still in Singapore"
"This was a lapse. What to do? It's happened."

WHAT TO DO? You ask me, I ask the Heavens. Can? I'm not a minister. I don't know. Don't ask me. Maybe we can hired some "foreign talent" to help with the hunt? Oops, wait, I've almost forgotten... the foreign talents (The Gurkhas) were the reason for the initial fuck-up in the first place.

Our Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng has some ideas where he might be.

"He is in Singapore and hidden by sympathisers unknown to the authorities, or, two, he has fled the country."

That's got to be the most vague answer in the history of mankind. If I was paid a million bucks in salary, I think I could have derived a more honest / decent answer like :

"I don't know. Don't ask me, not my department."

So one year's gone. Issue is still not resolved. So how? Lets all go take a shit and then flush the toilet SEVEN times to pay tribute to SingaBore's biggest screw-up to date.

How some foreign investors have faith in the country is beyond me.

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And what better way to mark the anniversary... than to have lightning strike the 36-year-old monstrosity of a national icon on the head and have debris falling onto the stupid tourist there shouldn't be there in the first place. Who the fuck goes out in the open when there's a heavy storm looming?

Anyway, you and I, are paying for the repairs (via taxes). Some idiot commented that a lightning rod should be placed next to the Merlion to prevent anything like that from happening again. Don't be cock, this incident is called an BAD OMEN. We had it coming. Moreover, lightning never strikes twice. Ha! But seriously, how bloody ugly to have a bloody rod sticking out of the statue's head?

Some people in the neighbourhood coffee shops have associated this event with Mas Selamat, saying that he's already dead and that he's taken revenge by striking from Heaven. Seriously, some of you fuckers really need to get your brains checked and stop drinking NEWater. It's bad for you!