<"Yukun">

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Make (gecko) Love, Not War!

As part of my anger management programme, I went around the house looking for lizards to kill... I mean, exterminate. I found these two. Being the nice guy that I am (yeah, right!), I decided to let them finish off their last screw on earth and then flush them down the toilet bowl.

Hmmph! Those horny male lizards sure take a bloody long time to blow their load!

Everything's fornicating.
Shouldn't we do the same?

Warn your other scaly friends, call the SPCA... Death Angel has arrived and the killing (or drowning) season begins! Thrash Metal and lizard termination seems to go hand-in-hand darn pretty well! If you got a lizard problem, you know who to call... provided it's not a freaking Komodo dragon or something of that size (unless you don't mind cleaning the bloody mess after I slit it's throat).

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Further proof that people don't read properly

"Yukun, the Chivas event got guestlist?"
"Chivas event can book table or not?"
"What time is the event?"
"Can you play some banging trance?"

Dear vision-impaired people... please read the following text in bold...

For the final time... NO GUESTLIST as it's not MY EVENT. Just go to their website to registered for this INVITE-ONLY event. At the same time, why not direct those ignorant questions to the organizers as well. Time and date has been plastered over and over this blogsite as well as the FACEBOOK event page. Sorry if you're still not on the FACEBOOK wagon. You're missing out then. No I won't be playing any BANGING shit whatsoever. I'm the warm-up DJ and if you know Chicane's music and the policy behind the professionalism of the job, I cannot play any music that will overshadow the main highlight of the night. If you still do not understand from hereforth... I suggest you enroll yourself in the Paralympics because you're obvious retarded beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"How much is a bottle of Champagne at Helipad?"

How the fuck should I know? Just because I dropped by doesn't mean that I would know everything there is to know about that bar. Do I look like I work for them? Better still... do I look like the bloody internet to you?

TO END THIS RATHER RANDOM POSTING...

I have another new neighbour from India who is... (guess)... another IT specialist. See the pattern? Anyway, as my lizard hunt brought me outside of the flat, he said introduced himself, "Hello. My name is Bhaktavatsalam Bhayakridbhayanashanachar."

I replied, "err... hi. You can call me YK."

Not a very convenient Indian name is it? I wonder how big his staff pass is at work. Quite an anti-climax whenever he makes out with his wife and she goes...

"Bhaktavatsalam! Bhaktavatsalam! I'm coming, Bhaktavatsalam!

Hello! This is not a racist joke, OK? It's really his name and I'm merely eloborating examples of why the heritage of such long names should be eradicated... just like that lizard I see hiding behind his potted plant. Perhaps he should change his name to something that would be easier to remember, like Jabba Binks or something along that line.

OK... this little kid of angst got to go rest now. Having the flu makes me a bit warped. Gearing up for the big match later. Liverpool vs Man Utd. If I can wake up, that is.