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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Manhunt 2008

The fiasco which shouldn't have happened in the bloody first place continues today. And in traditional Singapore-style of "kiasu-ism", if this ain't enough to find the wanted man...

"I can't aim at a limping target!"

Lets activate the Air Force as well. I really don't know how effective that's going to be, considering how the pilots are going to do any GROUND SURVEILLANCE when they're actually flying WAY UP in the sky. I guess our pilots have telescopic eye-sights. Might as well call in the tanks, artillery and chemical defense battalions too... since we're using this opportunity to flex our so-called muscle.

"Sir, I see a limping man about 30000 feet away!"

Lots of conspiracy theories running (and flying) around on how a LIMP man can escape from a "highly secured" environment. Some say it was black magic. Some say it was an inside job. Others blame it on how inspirational Prison Break is. Now the authorities are calling him an escape artist.

So let me get this right. He's now a master of disguise as well as a Houdini enthusiast. So what does that make Osama bin Laden? The fucking Jedi Master? And how does one DISAPPEAR while going into the toilet? By flushing himself out from the toilet bowl? Looking at the facts on hand, I truly think we're really FUCKED. Damn, all these suspected terrorists seem to possess one or more special powers... just like in HEROES. All we need now is one that can shoot acid from his penis and fart toxic gases at the same time!

The actual truth which the authorities are too ashamed to admit was that the guards and him were playing...

OK, maybe I shouldn't be taking a piss at all. Afterall, it's somewhat quite a sensitive and serious issue... and that we did embarrass ourselves on an international scale. Nonetheless, let me do my part in sharing this public message from the Ministry Of Education with you...

But you if ask me... I think it's bloody lame. No wonder most Singaporeans are fucking idiots! If you can put gory pictures on cigarette boxes to deter smokers, why not apply the same shock-tactic as well instead of some lame-ass cartoon with a really cheesy caption? Not all can relate to such a CLEVER play of words, you know?