<"Yukun">

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I'm no longer interested... so stop asking me anything!

After yet another "what's-the-point" day / night, which I can bet that will never take off due to many obvious reasons I no longer wish to point out... I went home equally perturbed to the extent of not getting any sleep last night. The question I've been asking the entire time (till now), as I look at the other possible routes before me...

How much more mucking around in the dark?

The sense of redundancy, the utter boredom, the lack of inspiration and the displeasure of dealing with stupidity head-on is getting to me big time. As it is, the modus is cruise control, but in all honesty, why? Maybe it's me, I just can't stand certain things that irk the hell out of me! The saddest thing is to see a bunch of good people (colleagues and team partners), losing their morale and drive rapidly... much like what has happened to me. How am I suppose to teach DJing classes when I've already lost interest in everything pertaining to this industry? I'll probably end up pissing some people off in the process. Sorry, I can't be a positive source of inspiration anymore. And the last thing I'd like to do is to repeat myself over and over again to a bunch of slow-learning idiots. I just don't have that sort of patience anymore.

And I seriously need my life back on track! By that, I mean I need to make time for normalities and to find my purpose again. By that, I don't mean resorting to writing my initials on my dinner plate...

... or licking / slurping the soup, making crude noises
...in a posh restaurant.

I did spend some time just sitting and staring at the open sea, trying to make sense out of the current scenario... and looking at the business module at hand and asking "what the fuck?". I've been told that I take things far too seriously. Well, I'm taking my sanity into SERIOUS consideration. I'm almost reaching the point of "flicking-middle-finger-at-everything-and-everyone". Anyway, don't get me started. I'll take a few hours for me to explain all my grievances of what's wrong. Then again, some people don't like to be WRONG. What-fucking-ever... seriously!

Right now, a certain song by The Clash is on repeat mode and playing really loud in the background as I write this entry. And I certainly would like to do this to release SOME of the frustrations... and quite honestly, where I'm at right now, it won't take much to tip the scales...