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Friday, June 15, 2007

Fucking Grouchy... Not Enough Sleep!!!

How to spot me in public for the next few days...

ON GAHMEN SERVICE
The Enlistment Act, yadda yadda... Section blah, blah...

You (Rank & Name) are required under "Only-Heaven-Knows-Why" Act, Cap 93 to report for service at 0730 hours on 23/01/008 at Nee Soon Kueh Concentration Camp for the purpose of Annual ICT (9th ICT). ICT being "Idiots, Come Train!". Your service will be up to 31/01/2008 2359 hours.
If you fail to report as required, you shall be guilty of an offence punishable by law... i.e. castration.

I'm so fucking looking forward to this... and just to prove how cock it is in terms of stupidity at the highest level :

Please note that in an actual situation, the officer right in the front (with the cramped-up psuedo bravado look) leading the men, would be shot dead in a second from behind due to the arc of crossfire from the other men as well as those that failed their marksmanship. Don't ask why some of the idiots are aiming their rifles to the floor either. Maybe they're engaging midget enemies. Also, just because you're a fucking commando doesn't mean you should don your freaking OUTSTANDING ceremonial beret. It's not meant for the field, dumbass!!! You stick out like a cat in a dog pound! In simpler ARMY terms, the enemy can spot you with one eye closed from 3 thousand miles away. Oh, look closely, what's that behind the men at the back? Do I see boats? Like duh... in the middle of the fucking road? Makes you wonder if they were trying to set sail on concrete prior to this photo shot. Lastly, noticed the last dude with the red beret right at the back... who's clutching his balls? Lesson, never wear boxers during army training. You'll end up with droopy balls and inappropriate penis alignment. Makes you question why the commandos are called the ELITE, doesn't it?

All in all, I'm promised SEVEN glorious moronic days of mindless banter and pointless "go-through-the-motion" training. Fuck yeah!

SAF. Surely Always Fuck-up, Slow And Fussy, Serve And Fuck-off, Sleep And Fart... I'm sure many of you Singapore male readers can relate with what SAF really stands for. Personally, RGB. ReGimental Bullcrap. Oh, do spare me the "do your country proud" bollocks as well. I don't have loyalty for anything. Unlike some of you patriots, I'm not a dog. I better go ask my mum for my army helmet back. She's has been using it to mince meat in the kitchen.

Majullah Singapura! Yeah... right! Like in a fucking million years!