<"Yukun">

Friday, December 15, 2006

More jokes...

New clubs set to fire up dull Singapore scene
By Wee Sui Lee

SINGAPORE, Dec 15 (Reuters) - Six new entertainment outlets, including one a restored power station, will open in Singapore on Friday, a sure sign that a country that once had to exhort citizens to lighten up, is changing its image.

- > May I point out that it's not the citizens that need to lighten up but rather the prehistoric homo-erectus that run the country. Stop holding our hands and treating us like 5-year-old kids. We do know the difference between saints and sinners. Just that the environment is not "condusive" enough for the expressions of REAL thoughts and emotions.

In the south, the defunct 79-year-old St. James Power Station has been turned into nine venues with room for 5,000 people. A few minutes away, five outlets licensed by nightclub operator LifeBrandz, including Kandi Bar and Fashion Bar, will bring a little bit of Paris and London to the island. Together with Singapore's most popular club, Zouk, and British-owned Ministry of Sound, these venues are slowly transforming a nation better known for pragmatism than partying.

-> It's still a nation known for pragmatism. So what if there are more new outlets. Question is, what are they offering... MUSICALLY? Or is it all just old wine in new skin? Say if I wanted to go find a club that plays Breaks, besides Phuture, where else? You get the picture? Please note that we're not really spoilt for choice here. All the new bars that have been sprouting up, basically offer ALMOST similiar bar sounds. Different brand names, yes... musically... that's questionable. Then again, the masses are pretty easily "contented" with what's being offered.

"Singapore has some of the biggest and best clubs in Asia, outranking and attracting more big-name DJs than Hong Kong and Bangkok," said Grant Thatcher, Hong Kong-based publishing editor for LUXE City Guides guidebooks, in an email.

-> That's because the majority of Singapore clubbers will always have the mentality that IMPORT is better and they worship big-names blindly like no tomorrow despite some of them being utter crap. From overseas, must be good. You think? The consumers are more like victims of a successful marketing hype.

"Having said that, Singapore's club scene perhaps lacks the gritty edge that other cities do, because it's somewhat cultivated, and so much that's integral to club culture is the underground, organic, even anarchic element," he added.

-> Damn right! There is no anarchy in the scene. Everything is just so "properly overground" and within the said comfort zones. Where's the spirit of the underground? Where's the back-to-the-basics magic?

While Bangkok -- once Asia's party capital -- has to close most of its bars by 2 a.m., spurred by a moral crackdown by the government, Singapore allows some bars to stay open for 24 hours.

-> Like big hairy deal! 24 hours? So? The crowd still thins by the usual dreaded 3 a.m. Granted that out of the blue, we do get an odd party that goes up till daybreak. The fact remains that after 12 midnight, the rest of the country is pretty much dead with taxi fares being more expensive. Financially, it's still a burden to embrace the rock-around-the-clock ideology.

Last weekend, a record 20,000 clubbers crowded Singapore's Sentosa island for ZoukOut -- the club's annual beach party.

-> No disrespect to Lincoln Cheng and Zouk but this again, emphasizes the point that the general public likes branded / imported goods. Sure, milk them for all it's worth. The good thing about it? At least Zouk is a LOCAL brand that has been EXPORTED globally to certain degrees of success.

Last year the government mantra was that Singapore needs to be a "vibrant" city with more "buzz", as the government wants to attract more tourists and keep the economy humming.

-> A vibrant and EXPENSIVE city. And you don't get more "buzz" with coffee either. Get the drift?

Last year, the Eng Wah Organisation brought in Parisian topless show Crazy Horse amid much fanfare and official encouragement. But on many nights the venue is filled to less than half its capacity.

-> Like who in the right mind, pay so much just to see a bunch of dancers flashing their boobs and prancing around? Much like the many white elephants around the island, this concept was a dead horse (pardon the pun) to begin with. I think those Thai transvetite shows will rake in more interest and revenue.

But fun has its limits. Singapore has a zero-tolerance policy to drugs, and homosexuality remains officially a crime. Last year, a gay beach party was banned last year after police said the event would be "contrary to public interest." Many say that Singapore's ability to develop a vibrant nightlife will be hampered by its many rules an regulations.

-> Limitations does not equate to vibrancy nor creativity. I hate to remind the Einsteins that make the law. I'm straight. But if someone wants to be gay, let him/her be. What's with all this ostracizing? You expect the world to see the country as FUN but it's homophobic at the same time? I don't think the gay community is asking the country to be San Francisco... but ease up on the anal retentiveness! In other words, remember your intial plea to the nation? LIGHTEN UP!

Club operators must apply for a licence, while performers are prohibited from making "vulgar gestures, actions or remarks" and from wearing Playboy-style bunny costumes.

-> So does "vulgar" include grinding and "dirty dancing" that you see at R&B clubs? How about DJs making middle-finger signs to the audience for making stupid handphone requests? Do we need to apply a license for that as well? So we have 007, licensed to kill... what next? Agent 69, license to wear a bunny suit and give you a lap dance! Not all laws govern, as you can see. Some are actually great comedy material for stand-ups.

"There's too many rules, especially when it comes to partying," said Glen Goei, theatre director and co-owner of Happy -- a club which caters to a largely gay clientele. "It's all hardware, it's all designer names. But the context is not there -- the basic framework of celebrating life and allowing freedom of expression doesn't exist in Singapore," Goei said. "If you want to be a party capital, you have to change these arcane rules."

-> Glen, I salute you for telling it like it is and for reflecting my point that there is little CONTEXT in this "designer-concious" scene. My upmost respect for the local club brands like Centro, Liquid Room, Zouk and etc who have managed to market themselves beyond these shores. Sadly, very few remain supreme and resilient. Better than none, I'd say.