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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

SAF, you KNNBCCB! Understand?

While I await with bated breath to be transferred to the Mindef Reserve, I received a letter today from the Defense Ministry telling me that I'm awarded with the ORNS Completion Award (Operationally Ready National Service) of S$300 for fulfilling my military liability to the country. Damn Chee Bye (*cunt), right?

Frankly speaking, I feel that it's a fucking insult. After discharging 2.5 years of full-time plus over 10 years of reservist obligations... after the years of sacrifice, sweat, blood (and some tears where applicable), risks, liabilities and responsibilities, are you trying to tell me that I'm only worth S$300 (plus that yearly tax refief, a Hamilton watch and some cheap medal). What's S$300 in these times of high-rising cost of living?

Thank you very much for insulting all NSmen with this pathetic gesture! The US Army rewards its veterans with subsidized education for their kids, interest-free housing loan and other related benefits. Fucking hell, the FOREIGN TALENTS in Singapore get better benefits from the State. They are better off without having to waste a good part of their life serving the army. We carry arms to keep the country secure but at the same time, we're invaded by foreigners who come here even to take over the jobs of the coffeeshop beer "ladies".

The ruling authorities call this State-enforced conscription "National Service" or in same cases, "National Defense". It's the liability of all eligible male citizens to serve and to protect the country... so that the fucking foreigners can feel safe enough to come over and take our fucking jobs. Call it whatever the fuck you want. Sure our army has developed over the years in its treatment of its recruits and soldiers. But technically, it's still a form of slavery or forced labour... all in the namesake of "national purposes". You won't understand my grief until you serve and complete the full military term.

Try to keep fit for 13 years (or more), otherwise you'll spend another 4 - 8 weekends of your life doing Remedial Training(RT) for failing the army's annual fitness test. It is one thing to be fit when young, but as you get older? This is a perfect example that Singaporeans don't have FREEDOM. There's no such thing. The State owns you, one way or the other. For most male citizens, if we ever leave Singapore for more than 24 hours, it's a chargeable offense if we fail to inform the relevant authorities. What freedom, I ask again?

Must scrub toilet... contribute to National Security!

How does being called names like "Chee Bye" and "motherfucker" constitute to national security? Is being made to buy breakfast for the Company Sergeant Major (or any rank higher than yours) considered a national purpose? Does cleaning the toilet and keeping your bunk spotlessly clean, contribute to our Nation's defense. Yeah, riiiiiggghht! Chee Bye, understand!

Excuse the swearing. The one thing that I learnt during my days in the army was how to swear vulgarities profusely and effectively. Fuck... the amount of swear words I've used during my stint is so much more than in the real world or in any movie ever made. And it's not true that National Service makes a man out of you. When you finish your two-year duty, women your age will find you extremely boring and childish. Admit it, even till now, you'll keep talking about army life at every given opportunity, at any possible gathering!

One positive thing that came out from my tour of duty (having gone through one hijacking rescue and a border skirmish up north), I've developed a tendency to question "authority figures" and everything they say. Thus, I'm not so gullible like most idiotic Singapore heartlanders are.

The powers-on-top can continue going around declaring how good our country's defense and economy are; whilst the entire country twiddle their thumbs and wonders WHEN we will ever "catch" Mas Selamat. Seriously, how fucking impartial was the ministerial statement? Not everyone is that fucking stupid, ok? Any reservist would know that the report is basically stating the obvious... and to discipline and penalize the most junior in rank and file. But more salary bonus to the Minister of Home Affairs for running and otherwise "tight" ship.

So we are made to believe that a lack of a simple window grille resulted in the escape of the terrorist? You seriously want the world to laugh at how pathetic you are at cooking up tales? So you're saying that the careers of the two gurkhas, one ISD junior female staff (a woman asked to guard a male prisoner?), and the commandant of the facility have to "hentak-kaki" (stall) because of window grilles?

And why no grilles? Oh, it's because of red tape and Government protocol, isn't it? As per instructions since the days of the T-Rex, in order to appoint a contractor for the job, you'd need to have THREE seperate quotations, submit to the relevant department, and wait for further instructions as to who you should assign the job to... usually to the cheapest one. So much of initiative!

And you're saying it took only 49 seconds for the prisoner to get from the toilet to the outside of the converged perimeter fences. Did you detain a terrorist or a superhero? Never mind that... it just gets more embarrassing, doesn't it? And just so happens the two CCTVs covering outer and perimeter fences were not actively monitored. Either Mas Selamat is a damn lucky bastard or there's just too many convenient coincidences. It's just sad that we can spend billions on ministerial salaries, but we cannot detain ONE terrorist... or a least hired a proper Hollywood scriptwriter to cook up a better story.

Fact remains that Singapore is a laughing stock in the eyes of the world. Sure we're "world-class" in almost everything but our highly-secured detention centre don't have window grilles in the toilets. Shame on you Singapore, for having clean but not escape-proof toilets!

By the way, our in case the rest of you morons don't know and believe everything THEY tell you...