Singaporeans Are Idiots!
... p/s don't believe everything I say here.
And now for the great big bitch about SINGAPOREANS! By that, I meant the mainstream citizens. Yes, the general population that's bringing such great shame, with their lack of brain matter... on a worldwide scale. If you're doubtful whether you're one or not, please click on the diagram below :
I was at a nearby mall on Saturday hoping to get a haircut. Goddamn bloody salon had a freaking queue that snaked around with like 30 odd people. When I asked my usual hairstylist what the fuck was going on, he said... "no choice, tomorrow GST increase, people want to save money."
Like what the fuck? A haircut is about $25. How much fucking tax can you save? It's only a fucking 2% increase which amounts to like a few fucking cents. And just to save a few miserable cents, Singaporeans are willing to queue up for a haircut? Only in Singapore! Being not like any of these FUCKING IDIOTS, I decided to let my hair grow for one more week.
I proceeded to the close-by supermarket to buy some toiletries, only to find more massive queues at the cashier counters. Some had trolleys stocked full of canned food, some holding on to like EIGHT loaves of bread, others where seen clammering to grab as much as instant noodles. You get the picture. It was like as if people were stocking up for war or something. I just had to ask one of the cashiers, "Is it FREE-ALL-YOU-GET-GRAB?"
"No lah, tomorrow GST increase, people want to buy now and save money."
No fucking way! And like end up eating shitty canned food with instant noodles for months? And what about that lady with a trolley full of toilet rolls? I'm sure her family is going to have really sore but clean assholes. But really, is it all that fucking necessary? Notably, I did not bother to grab 500 bottles of shampoo. I walked away feeling ashamed for the lot of you that have the cheek to proudly call yourselves SINGAPOREANS.
If you think the stupidity ends here? There's more. I went to collect my renewed passport on Monday. Unexpected, the queues at the Immigration offices were overwhelming due to the school holiday (Youth Day). Waiting time was approximately FOUR hours. Fine. Whatever. I manage to find a seat and tried to nap the time away. And what do I get? One fucking high-pitched mother screaming next to me at her demon-child who is obviously deaf. He probably is considering how irritating the mother's voice is.
"Boy! I tell you how many times? Behave yourself or I call the police!"
A threat which she used like FOUR times in a minute for almost TWO hours. I believe there's a better way of discipling if your words fall on deaf ears. I think it's called "SMACKING THE BLOODY CHILD". I trust it's a far more efficient method. The kid's screaming and the mother's jet-sounding piercing voice gave me a fucking spliting headache. Nevermind, endure. It's Singapore, I remind myself. Fucking morons all around.
To put the icing on the cake... when my number was called (FINALLY!) to collect my passport, this fucking rude wanker walked up to the counter that was servicing my turn and asked, "Oei! How long must I wait for my turn? It's 3402 now and my number is 3842!"
I just had to answer on behalf of the officer behind the desk.
"Do your own maths. One number takes about 5 - 7 minutes. 3842 minus 3402, multiply that by 6 and you get an approximate waiting time!"
"You working for the immigration department is it?" he asked.
"No, I'm answering on their behalf because it's a question of having common sense. Now can you sit down and stop bothering us?"
"But I want to ask exactly what time because I have a movie to catch?"
There you go. Singaporeans! A bunch of stupid self-centred brain-dead zombies who are simply fucking morons in all fucking accounts! And that marks another entry which will no doubt go into the history books as "yet another regular day in Singapore". How sad, isn't it?
In the meantime, our nice little bar downstairs (eM By The Liver) is once again bearing shades of a Joo Chiat coffee shop with glorifying Hokkien swear words aplenty!
*shakes head in utter disappointment*
"Lim peh want to smoke, what smoking ban? Kani nah boo!"
I was at a nearby mall on Saturday hoping to get a haircut. Goddamn bloody salon had a freaking queue that snaked around with like 30 odd people. When I asked my usual hairstylist what the fuck was going on, he said... "no choice, tomorrow GST increase, people want to save money."
Like what the fuck? A haircut is about $25. How much fucking tax can you save? It's only a fucking 2% increase which amounts to like a few fucking cents. And just to save a few miserable cents, Singaporeans are willing to queue up for a haircut? Only in Singapore! Being not like any of these FUCKING IDIOTS, I decided to let my hair grow for one more week.
I proceeded to the close-by supermarket to buy some toiletries, only to find more massive queues at the cashier counters. Some had trolleys stocked full of canned food, some holding on to like EIGHT loaves of bread, others where seen clammering to grab as much as instant noodles. You get the picture. It was like as if people were stocking up for war or something. I just had to ask one of the cashiers, "Is it FREE-ALL-YOU-GET-GRAB?"
"No lah, tomorrow GST increase, people want to buy now and save money."
No fucking way! And like end up eating shitty canned food with instant noodles for months? And what about that lady with a trolley full of toilet rolls? I'm sure her family is going to have really sore but clean assholes. But really, is it all that fucking necessary? Notably, I did not bother to grab 500 bottles of shampoo. I walked away feeling ashamed for the lot of you that have the cheek to proudly call yourselves SINGAPOREANS.
If you think the stupidity ends here? There's more. I went to collect my renewed passport on Monday. Unexpected, the queues at the Immigration offices were overwhelming due to the school holiday (Youth Day). Waiting time was approximately FOUR hours. Fine. Whatever. I manage to find a seat and tried to nap the time away. And what do I get? One fucking high-pitched mother screaming next to me at her demon-child who is obviously deaf. He probably is considering how irritating the mother's voice is.
"Boy! I tell you how many times? Behave yourself or I call the police!"
A threat which she used like FOUR times in a minute for almost TWO hours. I believe there's a better way of discipling if your words fall on deaf ears. I think it's called "SMACKING THE BLOODY CHILD". I trust it's a far more efficient method. The kid's screaming and the mother's jet-sounding piercing voice gave me a fucking spliting headache. Nevermind, endure. It's Singapore, I remind myself. Fucking morons all around.
To put the icing on the cake... when my number was called (FINALLY!) to collect my passport, this fucking rude wanker walked up to the counter that was servicing my turn and asked, "Oei! How long must I wait for my turn? It's 3402 now and my number is 3842!"
I just had to answer on behalf of the officer behind the desk.
"Do your own maths. One number takes about 5 - 7 minutes. 3842 minus 3402, multiply that by 6 and you get an approximate waiting time!"
"You working for the immigration department is it?" he asked.
"No, I'm answering on their behalf because it's a question of having common sense. Now can you sit down and stop bothering us?"
"But I want to ask exactly what time because I have a movie to catch?"
There you go. Singaporeans! A bunch of stupid self-centred brain-dead zombies who are simply fucking morons in all fucking accounts! And that marks another entry which will no doubt go into the history books as "yet another regular day in Singapore". How sad, isn't it?
In the meantime, our nice little bar downstairs (eM By The Liver) is once again bearing shades of a Joo Chiat coffee shop with glorifying Hokkien swear words aplenty!
*shakes head in utter disappointment*
"Lim peh want to smoke, what smoking ban? Kani nah boo!"
posted by Adminstrator @ 10:14 PM
![Depeche Mode - The Best Of Depeche Mode [Mute]](http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/7863/dmih8.jpg)
![Imogen Heap - Speak For Yourself [RCA]](http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/6315/imogenun3.jpg)
![Balance 010 : Jimmy van M [EQ]](http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/1565/jimmyvanmgw1.jpg)
![Leama & Moor - Common Ground [Lost Language]](http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/9907/commongroundmu1.jpg)
![Sebastien Schuller - Happiness [Catalogue]](http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/1565/sebastienim6.jpg)
4 Comments:
wah lanz. you just made me fall off my chair in the office reading it.
it always happens to you dude.
anyway i did well on saturday and prove something to myself that the money has not gone down the drain after all these years hahahaha
until next time mate!
so what the hell you did on Saturday? stock up on what item?
like you i cant be bothered to stock shit.........
i mean how long do these people think they can stock up and avoid paying the 2% increase for?????
I wonder is anyone was cock enuff to stock up on condoms... which by the way, have an expiry date... so much utilize as much as possible... hahah!
Post a Comment
<< Home