<"Yukun">

Sunday, February 04, 2007

I Don't Wanna Be A Singapore Idiot!

A lazy Sunday, as always.

What's so great about mornings, beside waking up with a stiffy? :p

It's the hopeless craving for a hot cup of coffee. I don't care if it's those conveniently instant kind or if it's from the neighbourhood coffee shop... as long as it's coffee! The old system needs the kickstart.

Speaking of which, let's debut a brand new REALITY SHOW, blog-style! Every now and then I'll be introducing the very morons that exist in our society. All based on real-life incidences, of course. Hey, they're everywhere! It's just a matter of being observant. I chanced upon this first candidate (let's call him Mr Transistor) back in December last year.

Mr Transistor walks into Harvey Norman with the portable radio he bought last week and complains, "the $19.90 pocket radio I bought from you is no good! I live on the 13th floor and I can't receive anything at all. And I can't even put any mp3 inside! My neighbour one can. I want to EXCHANGE for that one!"

And he points to an iPod Nano.

Sales assistant takes a look at the really cheap looking piece of crap and duly reverts, "Sir, did you put the batteries in?"

"Huh? What batteries?"

So what's wrong this scenerio? Every fucking thing. Well, any idiot would know that any radio for $19.90 (including GST) can't be any good. You should've bought the $24.90 one. It's $5 better in many ways. You know what the FM stands for in your radio? Fucking Moron, that's what it is. And the SW stands for Stupid Wanker. Secondly, you should know better than to stay on the 13th floor. 13 is not a good number and it's general knowledge that radio waves only go up to the 12th floor due to a whole bunch of techicalities that you'd never understand. Any higher than that, all you're going to get are static noises from outer space. Great for eavedropping on alien lifeforms, you know? Lastly, you cheap fucking twat, for $19.90 what mp3 you expect to put into your RADIO? Did you check what your neighbour was using? There's a vast difference between a pocket RADIO and a portable digital player. Nice try. Next time buy a toy car and try to exchange it for a Lexus. By the way, if it does not run on batteries, how the hell you expect it operate? Do you see a little wind-up button on it? DUH!

I really pity the sales assistant who probably suffered a raptured spleen in his effort to contain his laughter. Well, I laughed out loud, as I walked by. Really loud. Why? Because Mr Transistor, you're a certified idiot! So sue me if I'm wrong!

Sure, some of you are laughing your pants off right now. Trust me, you just might be the next candidate! You never know. *snigger*

p/s The mash mix of U2 and Imogen Heap is finally up, as well as the NYE Edit of "New Year's Day" in the Flash media player (see right column). Flash is so way cool! Apologies for the delay. Better late then never. Just received the acapella of "Loves Comes Again" from BT. Will do something with it when the inspiration comes. Let me have my coffee first...

... and a good coffee is like having mind-blowing sex. One cup is never enough.

In the meantime, going to catch a few episodes of...